Thursday, February 5, 2009

Pops' TG7 of 2008

TG7 of 2008 (Late as per Usual)
The Bad and the Good, Most Intertwined

THE BAD

1) The Eviction
My building was sold and, after over 13 years, I was forced to leave my sweet deal…
2) The Lawsuit
…or so I thought. I discovered I was overpaying rent the entire time and was owed tens of thousands of dollars from my landlord… who decided he didn’t want to pay anything.
3) The Aging of the Parents
Getting old sucks. Watching your parents get old sucks more, and both of mine had serious problems in ’08. Happily, both ended the year doing okay.
4) The DC Universe
While I don’t read a lot of comics these days, every once in a while I’ll try to follow the canon of my favorite characters. I bought the first three issues of DC’s FINAL CRISIS, but found the whole thing an incomprehensible mess. I give up.

5) The Campaign
Sarah Palin. ‘Nuff said.
6) The NOT Liberal Media
Any time anyone accuses the media of having a liberal bias, I have to laugh. And laugh. And cry.
7) THE SPIRIT
I have to say again, an absolutely astounding display of ineptitude. Avoid at all costs.

THE GOOD
1) The Apartment
The forced relocation prompted Lysa and I to get a place together, and after much searching (of soul, real estate and bank accounts), we ended up in our dream loft.
2) The Resolution
After a nasty four months, my lawsuit with the landlord ended with a settlement in my favor. Whew.
3) Support System
Friends, family and Lysa. Couldn’t have made it without them.
4) THE DARK KNIGHT
Okay, so I can’t follow Batman in the comics. But onscreen? Perfection. My pop culture highlight of the year, no contest.
5) The President-Elect
If we had lost this one, I was going to give up on this country. No lie. Here’s to hope.
6) THE DAILY SHOW / THE COLBERT REPORT
Another year of the best, most cathartic insight into our fucked up world.
7) Wine.
I take it as a point of pride that two of my favorite wines ended up in the top five on Wine Spectator’s Best Bargains of the year list.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Seven things that are always, unfailingly, 100% guaranteed to piss Bob off.

BOB FINGERMAN, New York NY
1. Holding the door open to a succession of impolite douchebags, none of which take the nanosecond to say, “thank you.” It always brings on my Tourette's-like "Irish whispering," where I mutter audibly under my breath contemptuous comments like “Am I your fucking doorman?” or “You’re welcome, your highness.” Especially when they’re college kids. Take a break from your formal lessons to learn some fucking manners, you privileged dickholes.
2. Articles about Peanuts that misspell its creator’s name. How fucking hard is it to get Schulz right, assholes? Schultz, indeed. I bet you’d never get Jim Davis’s name wrong. Grrr.
3. Beginning to do something and then forgetting what it was right as I’m about to do it. Come on, brain, whose side are you on? Jerk! (File under: thing I was about to say; thing I was about to look up online)
4. Any and all computer woes. I can’t reason with machines, and of all machines, computers are the most unreasonable. I have switched from PC to Mac, so finally, occasional hiccup aside, it’s been much smoother. But fuck Windows. Fuck it right in its mean virtual asshole!
5. Gravity overdoses. When I get a serial case of “the dropsies” and things keep hitting the deck. Why is it inanimate objects think falling on the ground is so goldarned funny? Grow up, inanimate objects!
6. When rich people of any race cry the blues or play the victim card. You’re rich; suck it up!
7. Smug religious people who think they’ve got all the answers because in their feeble capacity they do! God is responsible for everything so why question anything? Or learn anything? Ever.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Seven ways to make Election Day better:

DAVID CALAMONERI, Hoboken NJ
1. The same machine in every polling place across the nation.
2. A paper receipt with every vote.
3. The same policy on early voting nation wide.
4. The number of voting machines in polling places should directly correspond with that district/ward's population.
5. Have it on a Saturday.
6. Same day registration nationwide. They already do it in Idaho, Iowa, Maine, Minnesota, Montana, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Wisconsin and Wyoming.
7. A free slice of apple pie with every vote.

7 Wonderful Things About Election Day:

ERIN HANLON, Brooklyn NY
1. Voting
2. Free coffee!
3. Listening to people in my office discuss politics instead of celebrities
4. Jon Stewart announcing Obama’s win
5. Stephen Colbert tearing up when Barack Obama won
6. Karl’s text message of jubilee
7. Feeling hopeful for the first time in years

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

20th Century Boy: 7 Really Good Albums John Recently Bought on CD (Yes! CD!) Rather Than Downloading For Free Or Otherwise

JOHN HANLON, Brooklyn, NY
1. The Madcap Laughs - Syd Barrett
2. Places - Georgie James
3. Un Dia - Juana Molina
4. Criss Cross - Thelonious Monk

5. Original Pirate Material - The Streets
6. Dear Science - TV On The Radio
7. Alopecia - Why?

Seven Dogs in Nathan's Life

NATHAN PEASE, Somewhere in AK
1- Jasmine
2- Carson
3- Copper
4- Fuzzy
5- Mr. B
6- Friah (sp?)
7- Rocket

Monday, November 3, 2008

7 things Gretchen will do in case of a McCain victory tomorrow:

GRETCHEN EGOLF, Los Angeles CA
1. Decide which country I'd like to live in.
2. Pack my toothbrush (and nothing else).
3. Set fire to my apartment and stand back smoking a cigar, admiring the flames.
4. Drive to the airport.
5. Set fire to my car and stand back smoking a cigar, admiring the flames.
6. Get on the plane to the aforementioned mystery country (I'm routing for Greece at the moment...).
7. Order a cocktail and toast my new life. And never look back.